and I was all like, do you want CHIPs with that?
It's almost like the old days, but no Webvan deliveries to work, fuckin' A. I was starting to think it was a mistake to have dropped out of UC Santa Cruz my first semester for that job at i-BS. I mean, when they went under I didn't have a job for almost two months! It was like we were all total losers. Like all the total losers who had to move back to Indiana or wherever and live in their mom's basements. Thank god my mom doesnt' have a basement! Dude, thank Buddha I have my art! And I don't mean my friend Art-Bob. I spin with the best, DJ Minty Chip!
There should be a cool holiday like thanksgiving except, for Buddha!
Well this new idea is the best. After all that weird shit that happened ... I mean my sister STICKS VAMPIRES THROUGH THE HEART. Lobachevsky, that weird fucking file sharing virus thingie, and it was DEMONS. Okay maybe I shouldn't have taken that second tab because I'm totally tripping out right now and the letters are all wiggly.
Yeah! that's the way I like it! I just had this great idea and have to keep writing because it would suck to forget that there should totally be an MC 900 foot jesus song about Buddha and thanksgiving and instead of eating a lot of turkey there woudl just be great tunes and a lot of drugs and some people dancing and everyone could wear Buddha outfits. Note to self, what does Buddha wear? A loincloth??? Look this up later when not high.
Anyway we set up our company. max was all like "we dont' want to sell STUFF we want to sell a service." Damn she is smart. Like stuff that would protect your computer from demons. But then
my sister Dot wants to get all medieval on the vampires. I think she likes killing things. Roberta ponied up the dough and we are SET and then I met that girl Tiff on the wharf and there were those guys with machine guns and Drake who turns out to be super cool, and the horrible vampire things coming after us. Dude that one vampire totally groped my tit rings. IT HURT and I think I have some kind of infection. Tiff should have taken the altoids i was trying to give her because they were spikEd if you know what I mean. SHE turns out to be a slayer and the vampires turn into dust. Poof! (Note to self: could snort vampire dust? Is this cannibalism? Ask Max.)
The shootout in the El Grullense was NOT COOL except for when Dot did a flip and kicked that one chick in the leather and I guess staked her in the heart AGAIN but I missed that part, but also, I made a great joke when I smeared the extra garlicky hot salsa in that dude's eyes and yelled "If you are gonna eat CHIP (me) then have some extra garlicky hot SALSA to go with it!" Then the cops came and were pointing guns at us and it was actually not really scary because i was you know in the State of Alterity or Alterdness, not to sound like a fixed cat or anything, and had just watched some vampires go POOF into little piles of dust and the guns were all shiny and pointing right at me. It was like if they really had shot at me I would see the bullet coming at me in slow motion and I would just casually duck out of the way.... But Drake just waved his hand and the police were kissing his ass and they seemed to know him. I think he could probably duck the bullets even if not high???!!!
Too much happened after that to even go into. But we got a contract! A big contract! Roberta actually seemed to LIKE Tiff, i did not think it possible but she was all showing her all the power point presentations. Tiff... she is so mercurial, i wonder if she is a gemini? Sometimes she is nice and sometimes... well... lets just say sometimes she reminds me more of Dot who really needs cheering up! What does it mean to be a Rules Girl? Maybe I should have stayed in college and I would get references like this. Does it have something to do with the constitution? Or shakespeare maybe? Or does it mean she is into sports? Maybe she will watch Shaolin Soccer with me...
